Hasta Luego

The final days....

Meeting with Ruth
On Tuesday, Presh and I caught the 8:00 bus to Orange Walk to meet with Ruth Ku, headmaster of the Orange Walk Presbyterian School. We were warmly greeted by Ruth and spent about an hour discussing the school's ups and downs over the past few months. In the spring, Patrick Faber, The Minister of Education of Belize, visited the Orange Walk campus and was very pleased with the progress he saw. By the end of Mr. Faber's visit, Ruth found herself in his good favor. The government has agreed to take responsibility for 4 teacher salaries at this time and has promised Ruth that, by September, all 10 teacher salaries will be paid with government funding.

Ruth made it clear that our faculty workshops with Kimberly Carraway back in February were instrumental in giving her the hope and encouragement she needed to make it through the year. Ruth also emphasized how valuable a partnership with American teachers would be. Specifically, Ruth feels that discussions with American teachers stir up ideas and motivate Belizean teachers to be more creative and passionate about engaging their students in the learning process. Our conversation with Ruth got me fired up about the idea of bringing some St. Paul teachers to Belize in the spring.

Ariely
There’s always that one kid who grabs your heart, who draws you in without a complete understanding of why. For me, it tends to be the kid with a tough exterior, usually accompanied by a very fragile heart. This time her name is Ariely. She’s fourteen years- old, and on the first day of camp, she told me, half in Spanish, that she was not going back to school next year. The remaining two weeks of camp, she ran from the camera (mainly my camera), she giggled and only responded to my questions in Spanish, always making sure her friends knew how disinterested she was in talking to me. I responded with continued attention, harassment and every once in a while, I threw out the sincere question. Sometimes she responded, sometimes not.

Last night, we ate dinner with the Nah family, in Cristo Rey village. Ariely lives next door to the Nah’s, so I asked her if she wanted to take a walk after dinner. She was a different kid last night. After mild interrogation, she told me that her mom had been very sick and that she could not lift heavy objects or be on her feet all day. With three older sisters working or in school, and two younger siblings at home, the household responsibilities fell to Ariely, therefore preventing her from going to school next year. I think there is more to the story, but the fact that she shared that much about her family with me was huge. In lots of ways, it was a breakthrough night. She even let Presh take a picture of us together without covering her face.

Last days of camp
At the end of the last day of camp, we asked each girl to come forward as we celebrated what we had enjoyed about each of them during the two weeks of camp. It was a really neat time to see the girls beam as they came forward to receive their very own Sports Servants bracelet and receive our words of affirmation. We ended camp with all the girls circled up with a “1, 2, 3 Champions!” I wish we had another week. It feels like I have just started to really get to know these girls individually. It took about two weeks for the barriers of culture and novelty to wear away enough to give way to the beginnings of real relationship.

Where is my treasure?
Thursday morning, I had a full morning at Tony’s to read, write, think and pray. Full morning means about 3 hours instead of 2. It really is the amount of time I think I need every day to settle down, get still and give whatever I am reading time to penetrate my heart. I think the word is meditate. Being of slow but thorough mind, it usually takes a good 30 –45 minutes for me to just clear my mind of the lists and racing thoughts necessary to even get started. I usually give myself about a fraction of this time, so no wonder my time with the Lord often feels less potent. Thursday morning was good though. All my anxieties, ideas, and questions seemed to blur as the words of Luke 12 began to penetrate, not only my mind but my heart. The ordering of the passages that impressed me was profound.

The rich young ruler exposed my focus on the future, obsessive planning; sobered me to the gift of that TODAY is; the brevity of life. Then comes a reminder that I can’t even control something as simple as adding an hour to my life, yet I worry about controlling bigger things than that. Followed by that, a gentle reminder that the Lord is the Lord of detail and He knows what I need. Then, a reminder of his heart towards me,”it is the Father’s pleasure to give you the kingdom,” yet I doubt that He finds pleasure in giving me the my smaller earthly desires...and the finale... “Sell your possessions and give to the needy. Provide yourself with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not grow old. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Verses I have heard a million times suddenly reduced the complexity of my life into very simple order, causing me to define what my treasures are. Simply put, my treasures are my time, my gifts, my training, my money, my energy, my relationships. The bigger question became “WHERE is my treasure invested?” Where my treasure is invested is where my heart is found/ where my heart is engaged. I WANT my treasure to be invested in things unseen, in people treated as disposable, in people who can’t appreciate or thank me. I am free to lose everything because I am promised that my future is fulfillment of my deepest desires. I avoid need and discomfort, but nothing seemed clearer that Thursday morning than I am called to live in such a way that puts me in a position of need and discomfort in order to bring comfort to others. I wish I could make those truths somehow remain as alive, weighty, and as clear as they were Thursday morning. I write so I will remember over and over again.

Hasta Luego
Not goodbye, but see ya later. I’m getting on a plane tomorrow morning to head home. Sad, yes, to leave Presh and the relationships that have begin here, but desiring to be back here soon. I told a friend before I left that I wanted to leave Belize with a desire to go back. Knowing I can’t control my desires, but wanting to be committed to something bigger than myself, I prayed that my heart would connect this time to a place, a people. I don’t know what the Lord has in store, but tomorrow I leave with sadness, but also with great desire to return to my beautiful new friends in Belize.